Dear Maternity Store Saleswomen,

I am writing you to say that hovering around me like a persistent little fly at a picnic, does not make me want to purchase more clothes. In fact, It makes me want to drop everything I'm holding in the middle of the store & run out into the mall. And let's face it, at almost 8 months pregnant, nobody wants to see me do that. Not to mention, I'm pretty sure running would be impossible, I imagine it would look something similar to a penguin trying to run. Not pretty.

Being with child does not make me incapable of buying clothes. I do not need you to tap on my dressing room curtain every 25 seconds and ask if everything is okay, if I need any help, or if you can take anything back for me. I brought my husband, he can go exchange sizes as good as anybody else. He can also tell you to go buzz off, which I assure you, he was only seconds away from doing based on his exasperated expression every time you would come by.

But if you absolutely can't refrain from asking me if you can take the things that I want to purchase to the register, then for crying out loud, make sure it's at the register when I get there. Because getting home from the mall that is 45 minutes away only to realize that the super cute black shirt that I loved and wanted to put on before going back to church ISN'T IN THE BAG causes irrational pregnant lady crying spells. Now not only do I not have the shirt, but I have to drive all the way there and come deal with you again, just to get it.

Sincerely,